“I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the LORD.” — Psalm 118:17 (KJV)
Today is my 56th birthday, and the words on my heart are simple: I am still here.
At 21, while I was pregnant with my son, I suffered a stroke. I spent 30 days in the hospital. I was frightened, far from the life I knew, and facing questions I had no answers for. Doctors told me I should not be alive.
Two days after I was discharged, my son was born prematurely. Today, I can look back and thank God that we both survived.
That was not the end of the difficult chapters. Years later, I began having seizures. I have fallen during some of them, and I know how serious those falls could have been. There were times when I felt afraid of what might happen next.
So when I say, “I am still here,” I am not saying it lightly.
Gratitude Can Hold the Whole Story
On a birthday, it can be tempting to speak only about the good things. I do have good things to celebrate. But I also want to tell the truth about what it took to get here.
I remember the fear. I remember the uncertainty. I remember how hard it was when my body could not do what I needed it to do. Some experiences changed my life in ways I am still learning to understand.
And I thank God for carrying me through them.
Gratitude does not require me to call those painful moments good. It gives me room to acknowledge both the pain and the gift of being alive today. I can grieve what I went through and still rejoice in another year.
God Was With Me When I Was Afraid
Faith has never meant that I felt brave every day. There have been days when my prayers were full of questions. There have been days when I could only ask God to help me make it through.
When I look back, I believe He was with me in those moments too. His presence was not limited to the days when I felt strong. He was with me in the hospital, through recovery, and through the years when seizures brought fresh uncertainty.
Isaiah 41:10 reminds us that God tells His people not to fear because He is with them. I have held on to that promise, especially when I could not see what was ahead.
If You Are in a Hard Chapter Please Keep Going
I do not know what you are facing as you read this. Perhaps you are recovering from an illness. Perhaps you are caring for someone you love. Perhaps you are simply exhausted from carrying more than people realize.
Please know that you do not have to make it through the whole journey today. Take the next step you can take. Rest when you need to. Ask for help. Let the people who love you know what you are going through.
And if all you can pray today is, “God, please help me,” that is enough to bring to Him.
Your hard chapter deserves care and support. It also does not have to be the final word about your life.
What I Am Praying for This New Year
As I begin another year, I am praying for more than survival. I am praying for moments of peace, laughter with my family, and the courage to keep sharing what God has brought me through. I want to be present for the life I have been given.
I cannot know what this year will hold. But today, I can pause, give thanks, and celebrate.
At 21, I was told I should not be alive. Today, at 56, I am here to tell my story.
I am still here. Thank You, God.
A Birthday Prayer
Heavenly Father, thank You for the gift of another year. Thank You for being with me through the moments I was afraid and the seasons I did not know how I would get through. Help me receive this day with gratitude. Give me strength for what lies ahead, peace for the memories I still carry, and joy in the life You have given me. May my story bring hope to someone who needs it today. In Jesus’ name, amen.
